In violent streets and broken homes, the cry of anguished souls is not for more laws but for more conscience and character. ~ Cal Thomas
Nothing breaks my heart more than a broken home. Whenever I read headlines about another celebrity couple separating or divorcing due to affairs, or when I discover that a very disruptive and troubled student in my class is from a broken home, it breaks my heart.
There has to be something really beautiful about a relationship which leads two people to marriage and it’s such a loss to only have that beauty turn awry producing victims, the children.
No girlfriend and boyfriend tie the knot with dreams of divorcing someday, at least for those who are truly in loved. Couples decide to marry with plans of raising a family together and growing old together.
However, no marriage book or relationship advice can prepare a couple enough to divorce proof their marriage. Along the way, differences come.
The couple’s ability to deal with those differences and to work out for the endurance of their love is what defines the success of their marriage.
It’s not that you’re happy today with your marriage and tomorrow morning you’ll wake up suddenly wanting a divorce. It takes time for your tiny grievances and dissatisfaction to sum up together and lead your relationship to grow cold and stale.
Fortunately, there’s enough time for you to salvage your marriage. Enough time to identify what’s wrong even before you can wake up with a desperate need for divorce.
Here’s the list of questions you can ask for an inventory of your marriage, adapted from Harold J. Sala’s book “Making Marriage work”.
7 questions to ask to identify the strength of your marriage:
1. Do you and your spouse confide with each other? Are you exhausted at the end of the day that you’re no longer interested – or don’t have enough energy left to share what is in your heart?
2. Do you still have tender feelings towards your mate that you once had, or has your marriage begun to lose some of the excitement?
3. Is your desire to be with each other as great as your desire to be with others of opposite sex?
4. When something is in your heart, do you find it easier to share it with someone other than your spouse?
5. Are you in church together with your family on a regular basis, or do you find that more and more weekend are spent elsewhere?
6. Do you and your mate read the Bible together, or other spiritual book? Do you regularly clasp hands and pray for the need of your marriage and home?
7. Do you spend time in recreation together as a couple or as a family? Or do you need to have your circle of friends while your mate has his own?
If you answer “Yes” to most of the questions above, then your marriage is on its path to growing weak, cold and stale. You or your mate probably tends to be attracted with someone who is able to meet your needs.
Unless something is done as early as possible, your marriage is very unlikely to survive.
… It’s time to make a serious work out.
On my next post, I am going to discuss what you can do to help your marriage avoid an impending doom. There has to be ways.
The key thing is that you acknowledge the need to say “NO” to divorce and a commitment to change the course of your marriage for better.
What other questions can help you identify serious issues in marriage?