Finding My Way in a New Country and New Marriage

in Relocation

intercultural couple in the airport

After 11 hrs. of direct flight from Thailand and over 24 hrs of no sleep, we landed safely in Frankfurt airport, 30/07/2011.

Time flies, indeed. I hardly realized that it´s already eight months since I arrived here in Germany from Bangkok, Thailand.

I remembered how my Deutsch language teacher phrased and rephrased her question for how many times – how I moved to Germany – before I understood what she meant, and with my broken Deutsch told my story for my entire international classmates, whom we call ausländer, to hear.

Last week of July last year, after seven months of long distance marriage, my husband flew to Bangkok to fetch me up. Finally, we were to live together in his land.

It was mixed emotion. I was both excited and anxious about my move …

I was happy with the thought of being able to spend my every day with the man that I love, to meet his friends and to learn more about his family and his country, but at the same time, I was worried of not being able to work and I was deeply saddened that I had to leave my close friends, the family which I carved within my 6 years of stay in Thailand, behind.

Three of my best friends who were also my workmates drove us to the airport. No matter how we tried to be strong, and despite my friends´ repetitive swear of no tears, there were in fact plenty of tears.

On our way to the airport, and until the time I and my husband had to check in, I and my friends were hugging, crying, wishing each other the best, and hoping that we will soon meet again.

… It was one of the most painful experiences I ever had, saying good bye to best friends, for good.

As my husband gathered me in his arm and guided me to the check-in entrance, with small steps and blurry eyes, I turned my back on my friends and slowly pushed my luggage stroller away. It marked the new episode of my life.

After eleven hours of direct flight, we landed in Frankfurt safely. We waited for a couple of hours before my mother-in-law, with family friends, came to fetch us up. It was my first time to lay eyes on my husband´s car and my first time to see him drive.

His place is an hour drive from the city. And throughout the way, while watching him drove us home, I thought that there are still many things I don´t know about my husband.

I remembered my first night here in Germany was very sad. We arrived early morning that day, and after having breakfast and doing a little unpacking, my jet lag and stress came all at once that despite my husband´s warning, I spent the rest of the day sleeping.

I woke up at nine o´clock that night finding my husband sleeping beside me; everything´s dark and very quiet saved the boring sound of the clock. I was deaf with silence and because I couldn´t sleep anymore, I spent most of my first night lying awake, crying and feeling alone in a boring place.

I missed the speeding sound of cars and motorcycle as well as the distant yelling of street vendors. In short, I missed the sound of a busy city.

So start my integration process. With the help of my very supportive husband and my mother-in-law, I was finding my way through this new country.

Throughout my first eight months here in Germany, I was unable to blog here at Offbeat Marriage. There were many things to share, lessons and challenges to discuss, but I wasn´t ready to spill them out.

Right now I´ve a good grip of my new marriage and my stay here in the new country. And now I feel equipped to tell my story. So stay tune for my next posts…

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American Punjaban PI

Sounds like we have a lot of good posts to look forward to. Any cultural journey is difficult. I moved from a quiet little town to a big city and I had the opposite trouble as you. There was too much noise here. I think I’ve almost gotten used to it, I just have a few moments here and there that it drives me crazy now.


Hi American Punjab,
I wasn´t actually aware that my nails matched my husband´s shirt, lol, until you pointed it out. I looked a lot thinner here, was very stressed through the moving preparation. I´m glad you´re around. 🙂

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