How to Make Your Wife Happy

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The total of relationship books written for women outnumbers the relationship books written for men simply because few men read relationship guides and advice even if they very much need them. So if you´re a husband and you´re reading this article about making your wife happy, please know that I salute you. I admire you for taking efforts to understand your wife´s needs and finding ways to nurture your relationship.

The only reason a wife would stray is when she´s not happy and satisfied with her marriage. Unlike men who may still indulge in an affair even if they enjoy a happy and satisfying marriage, women are most likely to stay loyal to her husband if her needs are met.

Willard Harley (1986) proposed in his book, His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair Proof Marriage, a series of needs specific for each gender. Here are the top five needs of a woman that a husband should strive to meet in order for her to be happy in their marriage.

1. Affection

Demonstrations of appreciation and affection through words and actions are a true need for most women.

Every time I prepare my husband´s meal, I am awarded with a sincere “thank you” and a kiss. It´s been over three years now and he hasn´t change, he shows his appreciation for all the things I do for him and for our home. His actions of appreciation and affection inspire me to do even the things that I used to hate doing such as ironing clothes. In return, I also show my appreciation to all the things he does even the little ones.

He´s quick to notice my outfit and to tell me I look wonderful. When I´m not feeling well or when I feel down the more that I see how much he cares.

Every appreciation and affection that you show to your wife, even a simple hug out of the blue, will make her happy.

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2. Conversation

While men may not be bothered by long periods of quiet, women need to have conversations full of wit and excitement with their husband.

My husband knows it when I’m mad at him because I´d stay quiet for a long period. I´m normally chatty and I find joy in our conversations.
When you´re listening to us as we talk, when you´re giving us your full attention as we converse, it tells us that you care.

Laughter and giggle come naturally when we have healthy conversations with you.

But if you spend more time on your computer or phone, or if you keep to yourself for so long and stay quiet, it sends us a message that you can´t be bothered which translates to “that you don´t care”.

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3. Trust

A woman needs a man who trusts her, who is honest with her and hides nothing from her. For her, this constitutes the source of stability in a relationship.

My dad used to be possessive and jealous to my mom early in their marriage. Whenever my mom comes home late, my angry dad awaits at the door with his series of questions – where have you been, who were you with, why are you late, did you meet up with a man, are you cheating? My mom told him, “If you keep on suspecting me even if I don´t do anything, I would do exactly just that!” My dad had to work on his insecurity and learn to trust my mom if he´s to make her stay.

In as much as your wife needs you to trust her, she needs to be able to trust you too.

Make sure to be honest with her and never to cheat on her because the moment she loses her trust on you, it would be too difficult to earn it back.

4. Security

Although it may seem a little antiquated in this day and age, the majority of women expect their companion to provide for them and to properly administer income which will afford their family security and satisfaction.

Simply put, your wife is happy if the family´s finances are secured and stable. She´s at ease if there´s enough funds to pay the bill and to put aside for emergency funds.

Psychiatrist M. Scott Peck in his book, The Road Less Travelled, mentioned about his patient, a man who complained about his nagging headaches which no medicine could treat. Only with the help of Peck did the patient realize that his disturbing headaches are caused by the endless demands of his wife who wanted this and that without regard to his income.

If you too are suffering from unexplainable headaches, take a step back. If your wife is making unreasonable demands which are hard to satisfy, it´s probably time to have a really good talk and a reality check of your finances and goals.

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5. His participation in family life

A woman needs to see that the home is an important center in his life, more important than his job and his friends.

Many times I find myself thanking God for giving me a husband who´s family oriented. He comes home to me right after work and prefers to spend most of his free time at home instead of hanging out with friends. Sure he also gets some guys night outs, but nothing like some men I know who prefer hanging out with their buddies most of the time, going to bars and drinking.

Your wife is happy if you´re able to balance your work with family. Of course your success is important to her but she needs to see that you value your family more than your career. It means a lot to her if you´re able to come home on time for the family dinner, spend some quality time with the kids, and forge some bonding time with your wife after the kids are put to bed.

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Ensuring that your wife is happy is like making sure the light is on to brighten your home.

How do you make your wife happy?

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