I read a status from an fb friend which says, “Love is an action word“. It made me ponder, true enough, we usually say the word “I love you” but we forget that saying the words aren’t enough, it has to be shown in action.
For some people, saying the three words is just a routine, after a phone call, before going to work, and when going to bed at night. For others however, saying “I love you” to their spouse is difficult, they might be shy or uncomfortable but covers the real reason by saying, “I don´t need to say the words, you already know what I feel.”
Whether you´re the kind who can´t resist expressing your love verbally to your spouse as often as you could or someone who very rarely does, here are the non-verbal ways to say “I love you” to your special someone which solidify the meaning of those three special words.
Showing That You Care
You tend to be more caring, sweet and perfect during the dating and courtship period but as you settle in marriage, you tend to become too comfortable that sometimes you simply care less. Showing that you care for your spouse is very important and there are many ways you can do it. Most of the times, they´re actually those simple little things that you do which speak more.
For men, being a good listener to his wife is very important. Turning off the TV to listen to her talk about how her day went, her challenges at work, stories about the children, or her worries, concerns and achievements is greatly appreciated. She may have girl friends whom she can chat with but she still needs you to listen to her attentively. Remember, she does not need you to tell her what to do or to solve her problem, she simply needs you to listen. (See: Why your man solves your problem when all you want him to do is listen)
Being the head of the family, and if you´re the bread winner, providing the family´s basic needs is already a great way of showing that you care for your spouse´s and your children´s welfare. But it´s also important to balance your time between work and family. Spending a quality time with your spouse is needed to keep the romance in marriage alive.
For women, keeping a clean house and making things in order, serving a healthy and tasty meal on the table, preparing your husband´s working clothes, tidying his closet every two weeks, doing well in your career not only to fulfill your professional dreams but also to help bring dough on the table, managing well your resources, taking care of the children, rejoicing on your husband´s achievements, and being at your his side whenever he´s faced with challenges show how much you care for him.
Doing What Makes Him/Her Happy
You don´t have to buy your wife a designer bag every end of the month just to make her happy. You don´t need to scrub the floor every hour either just to make your husband happy. There are many tiny things you can do to please your spouse. Your task is to discover those little things that make her/him happy.
I feel happy whenever my husband helps me with the house chore. We spend a day every weekend for cleaning the house. Once I start cleaning the kitchen, my husband will pick up the vacuum and takes charge cleaning the living room and vacuuming the bedroom´s floor. He´s able to do so because he´s free during the weekend.
My husband also knows that I love indoor plants and when he gets an opportunity, he surprises me with presents when he comes home from work. He knew that I would be happy if he completely stops drinking alcohol, although he used to drink very moderately. Without me forcing him, he voluntarily ceased drinking.
He also knows how much I love fashion. Whenever he gets a chance, he invites me to visit my favorite shopping mall and he´ll treat me to accassional splurge.
In return, I also look into the ways I could please him. I learned how to cook food the way he wants. Even if I hate doing ironing, I psyched myself to learn to love ironing my husband´s clothes. There are times when my shopaholic side kicks in, but because I want to manage our finances properly, I´m learning to be more wise with the expenses.
Even if I´m busy maintaining my websites and my husband does overtime mostly everyday, when he comes home from work we make sure that we spend some time just cuddling and hugging. Bonding time is always happy time.
There are times in the weekend when I want to spend time talking to my husband but he seems uninterested. Sometimes, when I keep talking and asking him questions despite seeing his being unresponsive, I receive unpleasant response. Instead of sparkling a fight, I opt to stay away.
If he´s in the living room, I´d stay in the bedroom or in the kitchen. After several hours, a very apologetic husband will come to me sweetly. He´ll ask me, “What are you doing honey?” I´ll give him a matter of fact answer, “Staying away from you.” Then he´ll explain that sometimes, he simply needs space.
Thanks to the book, Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus, I already know about it, about men retreating to their caves and what I have to do if he does retreat.
Whenever I´m close to having my monthly visit, I usually become irritable and impatient. However, I after I moved here in Europe, I´d know if my period is close because I feel depressed and unhappy. My husband is already aware of this pattern and he is more understanding once he noticed the signs.
As I write this post, I thought of asking my husband about what particular things I do which translates my love to him. To my surprised, he said, “because you let me watch football without disturbing me”. I had no idea how much this little understanding, giving him time to watch his favorite game, means to him.
Fulfilling His/Her Needs
When we speak of basic needs, we think of food, clothes, housing, and stuff like that. But in marriage, there are other important needs other than the basic needs. Sexual needs (very significant) can make or break a marriage.
I knew of one husband who complained to his wife, why he always has to be the one chasing in bed, why his wife never initiated making love? Husbands also want to feel desired. If his wife can at least occasionally initiate making love (of which chasing doesn´t really take long unless he´s dead tired), then he´ll feel attractive. It boosts his self-esteem.
A husband and a wife who are sexually fulfilled in marriage are relatively happier than those couples who are not. Also, if a spouse´s needs are met in within his/her marriage, there´s no reason for him/her to go out and seek fulfillment in the road.
Sexual needs vary between couples and it´s advised that each partner should learn to communicate freely his/her needs to the spouse. Couples should be comfortable discussing about it and strive to fulfill each other´s needs.
For more ideas on to say “I love you” again, and again, and again . . . 10,000 Ways to Say I Love You.
Because “love” is an action word, it is not enough to say “I love you” to your spouse, it should be evident to your actions too.
What are the other non-verbal ways to say “I love you” to your special love?